Sunday, May 20, 2012

No Stitching

Once again, a no stitching week.  So this week will be another personal update.  If you're more interested in stitchy news, don't read any further :)  There, that is my disclaimer :)

I don't have very many pics this week.  It has been a week full of appointments and not as many opportunities to pullout the camera with the kitties.  Monday found us on the college campus taking care of some of Ty's stuff for the summer.  Tuesday I played cabbie for my father-in-law and helped out with a situation with granny.  Wednesday was Seb's counseling and Ty''s dermatologist check up.  It seems like the late afternoons were spent trying to get a hold of doctors to get med prescriptions figured out, trying to call and get Ty's neuro appt in Dallas scheduled (still waiting to hear back and will be calling back on Monday) as well as trying to schedule Seb an appt for his knee (we can never get through, we're talking 30+ minute hold times).  Pharmacy not notifying us upon pick up there was a problem or hold on getting a prescription filled.  Just crazy.  Then a moody teenage on that?  Now let's top it with a normal down loop in the marriage cycle.  You know how most marriages have their typical patterns, same 'ol, same 'ol, and some of that same 'ol, is the same 'ol thing that can be a down point?  Yeah, we hit that point and just need to make time for us again.  We'll do it though.

Now on to the good part, the kitties had their vet check Wednesday and all looked good!!  They got a tiny bit of wormer.  I was a little stumped on some of what my vet said and talked to Linda, my handy dandy wonderful kitten encyclopedia friend.  We came to the conclusion that although my vet is really, really awesome when it comes to dogs, he may not be the bomb when it comes to cats.  Nothing against him, and if these were perfectly healthy, perfectly started kittens, then it would probably be fine, but these guys started out with a short stick and I really want "the bomb diggity" when it comes to the kitties.  I think I found just such a vet today and will take the kitties there at 6 weeks for their first shots and see what I think :)  Which leads me to something that is just been heavy on my mind as I go through the stumbles of raising these two little guys.  See, I'm adopted.  I was taken away from my biological mother at 18 months.  Yeah, I got the first 18 months, but it wasn't great.  Then I was booted to 6 different foster homes between 18 months and 4 1/2 when I was adopted.  Their reasoning was, they didn't want the foster parents to get attached, but it instead taught me not to get attached.  So at 4 1/2 when I was adopted, although I loved my mom and dad very much, I never really attached until adulthood.  My parents and I went through a lot of angst, and as I've gotten older and we talk more, we realize just how much none of us knew back then.  If the state would of offered post adoptive counseling, things might of been different, but they didn't do that then.  So we didn't understand each other.  I remember how much pain I felt, and how detached I felt.  If I was such an awful BABY, that my OWN mother couldn't love me, how could anyone else?  Let me tell you, that thought alone drove so many decisions in my life to way too late in adult life.  Bad decisions.  It took a long time to realize it wasn't me, it was her.  I've met her and I don't hate her, nor hold it against her.  She is a product of what she was raised.  But we have nothing to do with each other.  But at least I was able to realize it wasn't me and to be able to finally accept love in my life.  Then I look at these little guys and think of all the things their mother is not going to be able to teach them, things I'm going to try and fumble my through, and things I will miss and hopefully their instinct will kick in.  And I hurt for them.  I hurt that they are missing out on that bond that they should have been able to have.  I know, they have me and James.  But, we aren't momma cat.  We can never replace her, fill that void.  I worry when I see them desperate to snuggle with one of the dogs that they are craving that furry, animal to animal contact that I can't give, and I keep praying one of my dogs will step up and give them more than 30 seconds of that connection.  I love these little guys so much, who woulda thunk?  I do have a few here they are so we can end this morbid little post with a smile :)
Logan in one of his favorite spots.  (oh yeah, we're pretty sure *Asher* is a boy, so his name is now Logan, if it turns out to be a girl, it will be Rogue) 5/13
Gambit (formerly known as Booger, who is most def. a boy) sleeping soundly. 5/15

Issy has quit being stuck up and decided to start trying to figure out just what these little creatures are!  And yep, Logan's eyes are open, although Gambit didn't like the flash!! 5/15

We're starting to walk!  Logan actually did this 1st!  Gambit had a little trouble because he was so belly heavy!  5/15
Logan, I'm coming to get you!! 5/15

James - Logan is snuggled up under James's chin and Gambit is wrestling in the crook of his elbow :) 5/15
And of course Lil Momma (Cashew) has to make sure they are ok!  5/15
Gambit and Logan napping, aren't they just tooo cute?  5/17

Logan trying to play with Gambit.  5/18

Gambit is more interested in Lil Momma! 5/18

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